Saturday, 16 February 2013

growth :: marriage edition

It has been a battle to blog lately.
The Lord has really been working in me lately causing an emotional roller coaster, but mostly encouragement.
It's AMAZING to see prayer work.
I was thanking the Lord this morning for desiring to work in my life.
I encourage you today to continually seek the Lord.
He wants to work in you. He wants to make you better. He wants to make your marriage better. He loves you!
It has been so refreshing for me to take a step back and to see where in my life I need to redirect my attention on Jesus.
 Yesterday I watched a video on relationships.
It wasn't even intended for married couples, but I took so much away.
The thing that spoke the most to me was where I find my worth.
Yes, I am Josh's wife, but ULTIMATELY, I am a DAUGHTER of the KING.
If I live my life with my primary title as Josh's wife, and not as the daughter of the King, I am cheating myself.

Yes, of course it is a blessing and honor and privilege to be married to Josh, and I am grateful for that, but Josh is not necessarily a constant in my life.
The Lord could take him from me anytime. 
The Lord is my constant. He is who I must find my worth in.

I have heard these truths my whole life, and KNOW them well, but I'm afraid I don't always LIVE them.

Something the Lord taught me early in my marriage and that I am SO grateful for is NOT to compare.
I can't compare my marriage to someone else's. 
 I can't compare my husband to someone else's.
I can't compare myself to someone else.

Josh will be the first one to tell you that he's not the most creative person ever, and he's not great with surprises.
Let me just tell you, I LOOVVEEEEE surprises.
 Is my desired surprise quota met, no, it's not.
But that's okay. Maybe I should drop my desired surprise quota.

Why do I think surprises are necessary?
Why do I think if my husband loves me he'll surprise me?
I think I know why.
Instagram. Twitter. Facebook. Hollywood.

Let's not let these places be the standard.
Let's remember that people put their best foot forward on all social networks.
Let's let JESUS be the standard.
Let's let the Bible tell us what's important.

If I could say just one single thing that has positively affected my marriage, it would be remembering that the world is not my standard and I will not let this world tell me what my marriage should look like.
I don't want what the world has.
I want what Jesus has to offer.

And this is a fight. 
Not a day goes by that we aren't affected by movies, tv shows, music, social networks.
For me, the Lord leads me in taking a break from those things sometimes.
I will fight and fight and fight for my marriage.
I will fight to have JESUS as the standard.

I have in a husband what so many people would do anything for, a man who loves the Lord more than he loves me.
A man who desperately seeks the Lord each and every morning.
A man who CONSTANTLY points me to Jesus.

Why get caught up in the things that really don't matter?

When we are too focused on that person, we start to notice more of the "he's not surprising me with anything" things and less of the "he seeks Jesus more than anyone I know." things.

 So living in Moose Factory, with a far LESS busy schedule than either of us have ever known, I have been guilty of putting too much emphasis on Joshua, and with that have looked at his flaws with a magnifying glass.

It has been so refreshing to step back and say, Jesus, I need YOU first and foremost.
I am YOUR daughter.
What an HONOR.

And when I do this, and stop putting Joshua in the limelight, our marriage becomes instantly sweeter.
As He seeks Jesus, and as I seek Jesus, we become closer and closer.
It's a beautiful thing.

I am grateful for this reminder this week.

I want Jesus as the front and center of my life.

Sometimes it's hard to share the intimate places the Lord brings you through, but I know I am always blessed when others put down their walls.
I pray that the Lord can use this to encourage, challenge or move you.

{"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become on flesh." This is a profound mystery- but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife my respect her husband."}
Ephesians 5:31-33


  1. Loved this post! Needed to hear this today. I'm not married but in a serious dating relationshig.. Thanks for sharing what was on your heart! Jess

    1. absolutely! & these are truths to hold on to even in a serious dating relationship! So blessed to be able to encourage!

  2. Thanks for sharing about this are so wise. I love when you talked about how the world is NOT our standard because sometimes we forget it's about so much more. I enjoy social media (because of honest and wise gals like yourself) but it does making comparing so in your face.

    1. of course!! Thank you! I know exactly what you mean. I love social media too, and feel like the Lord has used so many ladies to challenge and encourage me, but it totally is a constant battle not to compare! Let's just continue being real and honest and ourselves and set the bar a little higher! :)

  3. I loved this post Kristen! You're so right, and this has been on my heart lately as well, setting our hearts on things that are of Christ and not of the world. It is so hard to do sometimes. And, seriously, it is pretty awesome that we're daughters of the King. :)

    1. Thanks, Lauren!! It totally is a challenge. Something that if we don't fix our minds on we can so easily fall!! Let's just cling to that BEAUTIFUL truth of being His daughters and work each day at living for him! Hoping to see you and your sweet babies in March!

  4. Beautiful post Kris! You know I'm not married OR even in a serious relationship, but these things are ALWAYS important. LOVED how you put it about Josh being in the limelight and that puts focus on his flaws...a single girl will do this to herself! I am single, so ALL my focus is on Me, Me, Me :) so of course, what do I see? All the things that are "wrong!"..according to the World's standard! Thank you for always writing about the personal, important things.

  5. Kristen! I LOVE all of this. I wish I could write it on my forehead and read it every day, haha! Thank you for being so real and raw and genuine. It's so true. The world should NOT be our standard! Jesus is it, and we keep our eyes on him. When I was dating Kevin, I struggled with wanting him to be like "so and so". There was one point in our relationship that I asked why he hadn't done such and such, and he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said "Katie, why can' you just love me for me?". I wept and wept, and cried out to God to change my heart so that I didn't expect Kevin to be anything else that who God created him. And the Lord did a miracle, from that day on the Lord has given me his LOVE to love Kevin, and accept and cherish him for the man he is. It's amazing! Thanks for sharing girl. Love you!


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